TOH JING HEN

To my dear baby HaRa, Knowing that u r not going to come back again to update your Twitter status again makes me frost, my hands trembling, my brain recalling, all the moments when we were together, my tears uncontrollably came down in anytime I think of u now, I already started to miss you, your everything, your voice, your face, your existence, it was my fault, to assume that u would always be there like how u always did, because of your strong and brave personality, I didn't realise that you are still such a young girl, facing all the difficulties alone all the time, having the responsibility like a whole world on your tiny shoulders, I didn't realise that u feel hurt and pain physically and mentally by those who did not even deserve u. I still remember the promise I ever made to you, one day in the future, I'm going to look after u like how u always did to me, I'm so grateful for being able to meet a person like you, but seemed I got no more chance to fulfill my promise anymore after this. Being the eldest son in the family, I always wish to have elder siblings that would lead me the direction to go when I'm lost, so since I became a KAMILIA, I used to call u as 荷拉姐姐 (elder sister) even in my real diary books, it felt so comfortable and peaceful to have an elder sister like you, it's like u always holding my hands when they were cold, always helping me to get up when I was drowned into sorrow. I really really feel so happy that God sent you here to accompany me through my darkest days, but I couldn't even stay with you when u were on the edge of breaking down, I left u to leave this world in such a goddamn loneliness. I can never forgive myself, I can never forgive those who ever did this to u, I hate how this world running as the kind people always get hurt but the devils live well, there is nothing more I can do now to have u back again, I feel so sorry for everything that I couldn't have done, I'm so sorry HaRa. I was looking forward to that one day I can see you in your wedding gown, you will be the most beautiful bride in this world for sure, I was looking forward to that one day you will post picture with your kids to share the joy with us, I was looking forward to that day I can finally meet you in real person, no matter how old we will become, u will be always having the same place in my heart, I was looking forward to that day I can finally tell u a story of how an angel came into my world for my redemption, telling u how much I love u, telling u that I always took u as part of my family members already, u are my beloved elder sister since the very beginning. But seemed none of these can be done anymore. I lost it, I lost the way u were guiding me through all the time, this is the first time I experienced this pain when losing someone so important to me in my life, I can actually lose anything just to have u back, wishing I was there to share your pain. I LOVE U SO MUCH, oh my BABY HARA, THANK U SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE all the time, next life if I can meet you again, it's my turn to protect u away from all the pains. Please rest well there, I will hold them the gifts u ever gave to me, to live up your name. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncCbyA6HgJg

What to say? I dont know, SungHee.... I ever wished when I was coming back since from a long time ago I can meet some miracle about you, just like your song or something else, just like when Im coming back again, you will also come back at here..... By the way, still miss you, it's been 8 years........

Hmm Hello Karaholic, and all my dear friends...... Sorry for returning back after such a long time without shameful feeling........ Yep, a lot of cheerful memories for me along the years passed by, since 3rd June 2013, also the first year i fanned on KARA as a KAMILIA, and also the first fandom I ever joined, first, no doubt....... In the beginning, I thought that this place, Karaholic had so many awesome fans and staffs when I was reading those posts, I was like feeling myself such faraway from the grade of you all, and I think the moment when I discovered "Shoutbox" almost made my day, i cannot remember well about the first time for me in Shoutbox, I thought everyone is going to be very strict or honourable to be close with before that, but after chatting with them, I felt so happy and seemed like found a new family outside there in the world...... i still remembered they were Narkara, ilovekaramorethanthebeatles, Hitsukid (Once maa7895), and many Tunas (I cannot distinguish out them already) welcomed me for the first day, ah and also Apple and Ronald senior....... and then along the year 2013 and 2014, I would come to this place everyday with one or two hours, spending time on the most weird and funny conversation, and got to know a lot of friends, MarkRafael, LLL168, MoonShadow, Pengu, Paul, Lukas hyung, and once we had PikaBleu, edr49890, hanueljhen, iamrookie, Kevin, viperion, fishball, JinJing and many other good friends i cannot list them out...... Then, Hitukid (maa bro) ever gave some advice for me to my diary posts, and JinJing, Hitsukid and many other member here would like my posts, it was also the first time I gained some confidence for my poor writing on this fansite........ In my heart, i always thought they will always at here, we will always be here, for each other....... Afterwards, sharing blissful memories here with all my sweet KARA members, GyuRi, SeungYeon, HaRa, Nicole, JiYoung and SungHee, was such a precious treasure for me, whenever they held for a coming back, i can feel my heartbeat fast and I can boosted out my love towards them at here, Karaholic, endlessly...... This is always the most wonderful fandom paradise for me, everything seemed to be so cool and at the same time so warm for me.......... Later, Ronald and many other creditable admins, created the new display for Karaholic banners everytime, would give me such a big surprise....... And those admins who in charge with Karaholic monthly issue, (Sorry I cannot list out the name cause of my poor memories) they are so awesome and I felt that teamwork and commitment Karaholic family had gave were and will be such a big power to protect Karaholic invulnerably....... And the last thing I want to say, the most favourite moment for me at here Karaholic, will be, there are dear friends still remember about me and my name even appeared above this topic's posts, even when Im already disappeared for maybe one year long, (Thank you Hitsukid and Lukas hyung) im so grateful to be able to meet with you all and proud to own a piece of beautiful memories at here with Karaholic...... AHHH I almost forgot to say!!!! Thank you Appy Giveaway which ever gave me the most precious present!!!!^^ And also Lupang, thank you for the signed Nicole album!!!!^^ I never got one CD from the idol which got the signature on it^^ *Thank you also flamestalker for your truly contribution towards Karaholic^^ *Ah, and forgot also, thank you ilovekaramorethanthebeatles senior for encouraging me to be a dedicated KAMILIA....

Already died~~~ TT Ma GyuRi~~~

Thanks thanks to all staffs worked hard in this^^ Appreciate it^^

Hmmm...... Actually I knew about KARA more earlier than 2012, I always heard from some of my cousin talked about KPOP and I accidentally ever listened to Lupin once before 2012, I got shocked as it was the first time I listened to a Korean group's song, and it got a really shocking and frightened rhythm and powerful vocal, (Sorry i was bit of silly^^) then I forgot about them.....TT And once a time, my mum bought some DVD and I accidentally again watched "Speed Up" Music Video, then I was shocked again, you know, HaRa's eyelash, then SeungYeon baby-alike, Nicole invisibly sexiness, GyuRi queen's charms and JiYoung innocent but cool eyesight........ But after that i forgot about them again, then it was "Mr.", and then "Step", I started to identify who is who from 5 of them...... In Christmas day in year 2012, there was a "Mama Awards" show in TV, then KARA was there, suddenly just only one second I decided to follow them like they used some strange magically potion that catching my heart, so I became a KAMILIA indeed...... And until today it's been 3 years and 2 days I think, I never regretted to know about them, it's a pleasure and honour to be their KAMILIA, no matter it was ever 4 members or 5 members, I think all 7 from them are all my KAMILIA's life, and they gave me a lot beyond what I had done to them, I'm glad and grateful for all this happenings, thanks..........

Of course JiYoung always cuteeeeeeeeeeeeee............ And Merry Christmas to JiYoung~~~